I have noticed something that occurs within me every time I get close to someone for a relationship. I get scared. There is this subconscious thing that occurs in which I become hyper vigilant and I start looking for everything wrong with them. What happened to the days in which I just enjoyed a relationship? When I didn’t question their words when they said “I love you”? I mean, I enjoy those words for a moment, but later my guard is up and is questioning it. We are certainly supposed to guard our hearts, and this is what the guard is doing, but what happens when that guard won’t let you live and enjoy a relationship? Do we wait for perfect? What happens when we discover that no one is perfect? I have an off and on again relationship in which I just cannot let my guard down in. Thanks to God’s grace, he has shown me the real issue. You see, I can see green grass in other people’s yards, yet the minute that grass becomes my yard I get out the magnifying glass and look for dry spots. When we look for dry spots, our lawn doesn’t seem so satisfying any longer. The issue is that I have my guard up and it is time to let the guard take a break so that I can enjoy my relationship. This is also true in our relationship with God. We can either hear his voice and be satisfied with it, or we can keep searching for the answers in every flower pot and vessel that comes along. If we just remember what God said, and remind ourselves of this, then we can rest from searching. The answer is already with us. The Israelites questioned God repeatedly after he delivered them from captivity. After they left Egypt, they just did not understand how to handle freedom. God said that they tested him and tested him even though he constantly worked to prove himself to them, finally he had enough and promised they would not inherit the land he intended to give them. He called their hearts hard and unbelieving. That is really what this all amounts to, belief or unbelief. Do I believe what God has told me? Do I accept that no relationship is perfect and stop being so nit picky? Do I trust God with my life? Do I believe? I am so grateful that God is patient with me. I am so grateful for his mercy. Without it I would have not hope. Love is long suffering and all enduring. We put our guards up because before God, we were at the mercy of a tyrant called Satan. Now if God has delivered us from evil, and is leading us to our land that will bless us, won’t he take care of every need that we have? No guard is needed when we have Jesus. He is able to lead the way out of the desert. I believe.