Not our way

We either let God have control, or we try to take control. I have many times believed that I let God have control when it was really me in control.

Here is a clue that God is not in control, we feel burdened, oppressed, fretful, unhappy.

" But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law"

Galatians 5:22-23 kjv

The joy of the Lord is supposed to be our strength.

“Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”

Nehemiah 8:10 kjv

I’ve been led to spend time waiting for the Lord to speak every morning. This morning it was hard I felt anxious to rush and do things, but as I felt his mandate to be still, I instead got quiet and waited for him to speak to me.

Waiting

As I laid still and waited, he showed me how all of our rushing is our attempts to be in control, and the fruit of our labor will be whatever we can muster with these two hands. Yet if we waited on the Lord then our reward will be a whole lot sweeter because he has the whole world in his hands.

Our ways are carnal, and are man made, but his ways are infinite and when he touches anything he creates.

He is able to make a crooked path straight.

“I will go before thee, and make the crooked places straight: I will break in pieces the gates of brass, and cut in sunder the bars of iron:”
Isaiah 45:2 kjv

He is able to make gardens grow in the desert place

 “Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert”

Isaiah 43:19 kjv

All we must have to do is believe

Really rough weeks

These past couple weeks have been difficult. Beware when you believe you stand lest you fall. I’ve had many angry fits. I’ve had resentment and unforgiving. At the end I question my witness, but it just reminds me that I’m not any better than anyone else.

In the midst of it all, I am surprised condemnation has not shown his ugly face, this is usually when we are weakest of all.

But it is when we are weak that we are made strong.

“Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”

2 Corinthians 12:10 kjv

I have a portion of that verse tattooed on my back. It has been what God has said to me all my adult life. When I am weak, then I am strong.

Come to think of it, I am always confronted by my weaknesses, my inabilities to completely be right all the time. This is a big reason why I am also always strong. Because then I am reminded that I have not done anything without God’s love giving me grace, insight, faith, answering me when I’m at my worst.

I was visited by an angel tonight I’m sure who told me that there is nothing that I could do that could separate me from his love. Thank you father for your loving kindness, your mercy is new every morning and all day long.

“It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness” lamentations 3:22-23 kjv

I may fall, but the father’s love never will. I am humbled and astounded by the riches of his love. Great is your faithfulness my heavenly father. Now help me be like you. Help me never to forget how deep is your love. You give strength to the weary and comfort those who are broken. Amen

that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being,  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,  and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:16-19 esv

Praise God from whom all blessings flow

I had been given a heavy blow the other day and it got me side tracked, slightly. Satan hits us where it can really hurt, and if there is someone who you get support from who helps you, then that relationship makes a perfect target. It hurt, it still hurts, but my troubles have never stopped God’s faithfulness. This is why we need to be surrendered, Satan will try us like he tried Job if God allows him, and God will allow hardships to test us. He will test if our love is true, but even more he shakes us to wake us up. His word promises to shake the earth (us) so that anything that is not of him will be destroyed.

And these words, “yet once more,” signifieth the removing of those things which can be shaken, such as things that are made, that those things which cannot be shaken may remain

Hebrews 12:27

So the final product should make us glad because our trials are like the refiners fire 🔥. If it ain’t the Lord, then it isn’t worth my time or devotion. That is why the Lord allows it.

Yet we praise God despite the hurt. We praise him because what he has is enough. We can count the blessings he has given to us. He has forgiven us. He has revealed himself to us. What I truly value about him is that people come and people go but the Lord always remains faithful,yes I Praise him in the deepest valley. I thank him in the desert. I trust him amidst the storm.

Not my will be done but yours be done father. Why so downcast, oh my soul, why grieve and worry and why be afraid. Someone else might abandon you but I will still provide for you. Hunger for my righteousness and I will make you warm. 1000 reasons to praise and believe in the goodness of God amidst the storm.

Feeling a lot of peace after some deliverance

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

Psalm 43:5

I will yet praise him for sure, I’m in love with you my savior and my God 🙌

Photo by Maksim Goncharenok on Pexels.com

Updates: love, marriage, and saying goodbye

Its been so long since I’ve visited this site that it seems to be a ripe time to check in. I’ve had many changes over this past year. I’ve met and married God’s gift to me. The very week that we went on our honeymoon I found out that my mom had liver failure and metastatic cancer and that she was going to die. Right after I returned from my honeymoon I flew back home to my home state to say goodbye to my mom. I got to spend 3 days with her, and on the third day as I was on my flight back home she passed away. I’m still heart broken. She was only 60 years old. Up until she died I always felt unloved and rejected by her, but now I regret not appreciating the love I did receive from her, even when it wasn’t much. I should have tried to talk to her more. I should have visited More. But I am grateful that I got to see her in her last days, I got to watch movies with her and talk about our faith. I got to hear her thoughts about dying and her wishes. I got to kiss her and say I love you. I wish I had more, but I’m blessed to have the Lord’s peace and assurance that she is in heaven and I still get to experience her from time to time. I appreciate the lasting changes her untimely death made on my heart. I’m happy that I had a change in how I see life and how I have reconnected with my family, it has been so long. It had been a slight challenge to our new marriage but its nothing we can’t handle. God gave me a good one. I’m so glad that God helped me learn how to rely on him because no one can ever take the place of the lord. A spouse is nice, companionship is nice. It is not good for man to be alone, yet when God is present we are never alone. So these experiences have began a new book in my life, one that is now colored by love, strength in God, church, family, the lbs coming home, eternity and grief. There is so much to tell about. It is as if my story has just begun. My mom passed away April 19th, 2021. I was married April 3rd, 2021. My book was finalized and went to the market the day before my mom passed away, or at least that is when I first noticed it was on the market. My mom never got to read it though I was able to give her my original copy, but that doesn’t matter now because she already knows what is in it, and what is to come. Maybe she’ll help me with my next one.

The verse that God gave me concerning my mom’s salvation
My love and I
My book listing Amazon, now available on Kindle

4/17/21

Put away the former things

Last year I had been set free from many fears, and also many toxic people. The Lord had given me a word from psalm 34:19 promising me that he would deliver me from all that troubled me. Then I saw a vision of him coming to me as a consuming fire and when he came upon me it was almost too much to bear, to be so close to his holy anger, but it was due to having a revelation of his love that I could endure. I also knew that his consuming fire would burn away all that caused me pain. I knew that anyone who caused me problems would regret it. This work that he began with me began from within me. God had began giving me revelations of how he saw my deepest thoughts and feelings and that those very things were what he cared about. I began to understand this past year how much God genuinely cares about us. This is where faith comes from. This is what Jesus spoke of when he told us not to be afraid or anxious about anything and then he spoke about the birds in the air and the lillies in the field, how neither of those creations strive for anything yet God still cares for them. This is the understanding that Jesus had when he touched people and they got healed. This was the love for people that he had when he died for them and forgave them. So I also experienced much rejection this past year from even spirit filled friends who even though were anointed and favored, also had their flaws. God showed me that again those who know him also stumble and fail. He removed everyone from my life who was unhealthy for me, whether they were gossiping about me or they were discouraging to me in some shape or form. I had identify with the scripture that said that God can make the rocks praise him, well he can also bring up the right friends from those rocks. The most impactful lesson I learned was to sit at Jesus feet and not rely on opinions of someone else, or on projects or anything else other than the words from his mouth to feed me. I was so weighed down by the words, thoughts, and opinions of other people that it was not making God happy. Even well meaning people, and he led me to just unfriend many and at the moment it was a little scary but later I felt the relief and understood even more why it was necessary. I learned about soul ties and how soul ties with anything or anybody outside the Lord’s guidance can truly weigh on the soul. I had an unhealthy relationship with a Christian man who looked good on paper in some ways but who was hurting me with his head games and it was poison for me. I finally let him go. Then I met my soul mate. We are courting and I am so happy to have met the man who God intended for me to be with. Yesterday as I prayed to the Lord about recent mistakes I had made he spoke to me and said, forget the former things. Forget the past mistakes you make. Forget the past ways of thinking and being and believing. Sometimes we are not called to figure out or fix but to let go and embrace God’s newness of life and his great mercy. Amen he has great things in store for me. I also submitted my first book for publishing and I was supposed to have my first copies by now. I expected them in November but I still don’t have them yet. I suppose I wasn’t meant to publish it until this year. I’m working on my second book as well.

Things To Come

John 16:13 King James Version (KJV)

13 Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.

It is worth tuning our ears into God, to hear what he has to say for the day, any day, and every day. Sometimes I get so busy operating to doing what I think he wants me to do that many things I contrive are of my own imaginations or desires, and not from what he said. For example, sometimes I spend a lot of time thinking about others in my life, and about what they care about, what they think I should be doing in my life, and often I make my decisions based off of what I think others think is best for me… and I don’t even consciously realize that I am doing this. The truth is that everyone is going to have an opinion about our life, even good God fearing people, but they are not God. The truth is that not even the most well and gifted people know the future of our lives, but only God. God still remains God, and there will only ever be one true God. Even Jesus who we also love of worship told us that he didn’t speak or act on his own accord. I imagine that Jesus made this known to us because even in his reverence of God, he didn’t have faith in his human side/the flesh enough to express his personal opinions about what was right for us and what was not. If even Jesus expresses to us that he isn’t even good, but only God (Mark 10:18), then we can gain some wisdom from this. Thank you God for today as I have sought to make this a day of rest, that you have been there teaching me about how you are God, and no other person in my life knows what it best for my life. God even corrects me about my praise of men. I have a tendency to praise people who I respect and admire because as a prophet, I am also an edifier, and when I see the opportunity to build up another I jump on it, but right now he has told me to stop. Although edification is a gift to the church and can be very appropriate at times, no one is to get the glory except for God. Jesus said, “only God is good”

Mark 10:18 King James Version (KJV)

18 And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God.

Today, I give praise to God. All the insights I get, the knowledge, wisdom, understanding, revelation, inspirations, promptings, and the times I am lead to teach, preach, or correct, and also yes, to edify.. is all from him. The times I am able to be patient, forbearing, loving, compassionate, merciful and helpful.. the times when I have the faith to move mountains, that is all bestowed upon me from God, because within myself I am not good. In my flesh I am impatient, irritable, angry, wrathful, at times quick tempered and I can cut someone down just as fast as I can build someone up with my words. Also, in my flesh I need to be in control meaning I have a need to understand and know everything, yet God has used this tendency within me for his purposes and has taught me to stop trying to be anxious and having in control, but rather to yield the control to him, and seek him with everything I want to know. Relying on God means being patient and waiting. It is only possible to lay down our own tools and works and rest in peace with joy when we trust. It is honestly a relief when we understand that he is God, and I am not. What Jenifer can do and understand is nothing, not even my greatest efforts can make a mud pie that stands, but through him I can build the most marvelous castle that stands. He is God, and I am not. As I have learned (by his grace, and am still learning) to only speak what he says, only listen to what he says… so much stress departs from my life. Other’s problems are not my problems. The opinions of others are not my dictates. I do not have to listen to anyone but God. No one is in a superior place to me in my life. Oh sure, many think they are in a superior place in my life and the lives of others, but they are not. No one can tell me what to do but God. Having a revelation of this liberates me to not concern myself with the approval or opinions of others, but only with what God says, and as I really stop just automatically doing what I think God wants, or what other people says he wants, and I truly turn my ear to hear him, only accepting what he says, then my faith on getting an answer soars. Today as I’ve been seeking him on a topic I’ve had confusion about, really desiring an answer, not my answer but his… he has enlightened this particular verse to me. He says, “ask me … come to me.. and I will show you things that you do not yet know…”… ooh this actually gets me excited.. this means so many good things on so many different levels. For one, it means that he will show me things that are beyond my understanding. It is when we try to figure things out with our own understanding that we become confused. The fact that things bother us or confuse us means that there is higher or simpler thinking about the topic to be had. For now it is in God’s hands and I am waiting for him to show me things to come, and to show me all of the truth. When it doesn’t come automatically it means that it is time to focus on something else while we wait.. because we just are not going to be able to figure this thing out. I am grateful today that as I have sought him in my day he has used this time of what feels like sitting and doing nothing (which is so hard) as a time to remind me that he is God and I am not. Glory to you God. Amen.