Really rough weeks

These past couple weeks have been difficult. Beware when you believe you stand lest you fall. I’ve had many angry fits. I’ve had resentment and unforgiving. At the end I question my witness, but it just reminds me that I’m not any better than anyone else.

In the midst of it all, I am surprised condemnation has not shown his ugly face, this is usually when we are weakest of all.

But it is when we are weak that we are made strong.

“Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”

2 Corinthians 12:10 kjv

I have a portion of that verse tattooed on my back. It has been what God has said to me all my adult life. When I am weak, then I am strong.

Come to think of it, I am always confronted by my weaknesses, my inabilities to completely be right all the time. This is a big reason why I am also always strong. Because then I am reminded that I have not done anything without God’s love giving me grace, insight, faith, answering me when I’m at my worst.

I was visited by an angel tonight I’m sure who told me that there is nothing that I could do that could separate me from his love. Thank you father for your loving kindness, your mercy is new every morning and all day long.

“It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness” lamentations 3:22-23 kjv

I may fall, but the father’s love never will. I am humbled and astounded by the riches of his love. Great is your faithfulness my heavenly father. Now help me be like you. Help me never to forget how deep is your love. You give strength to the weary and comfort those who are broken. Amen

that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being,  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,  and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:16-19 esv

Praise God from whom all blessings flow

I had been given a heavy blow the other day and it got me side tracked, slightly. Satan hits us where it can really hurt, and if there is someone who you get support from who helps you, then that relationship makes a perfect target. It hurt, it still hurts, but my troubles have never stopped God’s faithfulness. This is why we need to be surrendered, Satan will try us like he tried Job if God allows him, and God will allow hardships to test us. He will test if our love is true, but even more he shakes us to wake us up. His word promises to shake the earth (us) so that anything that is not of him will be destroyed.

And these words, “yet once more,” signifieth the removing of those things which can be shaken, such as things that are made, that those things which cannot be shaken may remain

Hebrews 12:27

So the final product should make us glad because our trials are like the refiners fire 🔥. If it ain’t the Lord, then it isn’t worth my time or devotion. That is why the Lord allows it.

Yet we praise God despite the hurt. We praise him because what he has is enough. We can count the blessings he has given to us. He has forgiven us. He has revealed himself to us. What I truly value about him is that people come and people go but the Lord always remains faithful,yes I Praise him in the deepest valley. I thank him in the desert. I trust him amidst the storm.

Not my will be done but yours be done father. Why so downcast, oh my soul, why grieve and worry and why be afraid. Someone else might abandon you but I will still provide for you. Hunger for my righteousness and I will make you warm. 1000 reasons to praise and believe in the goodness of God amidst the storm.

Feeling a lot of peace after some deliverance

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

Psalm 43:5

I will yet praise him for sure, I’m in love with you my savior and my God 🙌

Photo by Maksim Goncharenok on Pexels.com

Little girls and their moms

A little girl reaches her hand up to hold her mom’s hand, “mom, you are the best mom in the whole wide world”. A teenage girl writes a note to her mom stating, “you are the most beautiful person I know, and I strive to be like you”. A young lady had settled to not ever talk to her mom again, after feeling pushed away, hurt and rejected, yet when her mom is about to die she holds her hand and cries, “you are too young, it is not time for you to die yet”. The warmth a young woman feels when her mom touches her delicately and says “I love you”, and gives her a big hug. There is no rhyme or reason to a bond between a little girl and her mom. This is from God. Cherish every moment you have with your little girls, make amends with your mom. There is no replacement for the love that can occur between little girls and their moms.

God’s restoration

I’m feeling it in the atmosphere, God still restores. I’m about to read the final chapter in my book that is a test copy. Soon enough it will be going to the market and officially published. It is God’s way to bless me with the grace that comes with the chapter he ledme to write. This one is about God’s restoration. Even as venture into this chapter God’s promises to restore me come to my memory. I am also going through the process of seeing many old strong holds flash before me and also troubles that are plaguing my fiance and God reminds me that he is going to bless me. He is going to restore all things to me. This is his promise to me. Not by might, or by power, but by his spirit he will restore. You are so good to me heavenly father.

Put away the former things

Last year I had been set free from many fears, and also many toxic people. The Lord had given me a word from psalm 34:19 promising me that he would deliver me from all that troubled me. Then I saw a vision of him coming to me as a consuming fire and when he came upon me it was almost too much to bear, to be so close to his holy anger, but it was due to having a revelation of his love that I could endure. I also knew that his consuming fire would burn away all that caused me pain. I knew that anyone who caused me problems would regret it. This work that he began with me began from within me. God had began giving me revelations of how he saw my deepest thoughts and feelings and that those very things were what he cared about. I began to understand this past year how much God genuinely cares about us. This is where faith comes from. This is what Jesus spoke of when he told us not to be afraid or anxious about anything and then he spoke about the birds in the air and the lillies in the field, how neither of those creations strive for anything yet God still cares for them. This is the understanding that Jesus had when he touched people and they got healed. This was the love for people that he had when he died for them and forgave them. So I also experienced much rejection this past year from even spirit filled friends who even though were anointed and favored, also had their flaws. God showed me that again those who know him also stumble and fail. He removed everyone from my life who was unhealthy for me, whether they were gossiping about me or they were discouraging to me in some shape or form. I had identify with the scripture that said that God can make the rocks praise him, well he can also bring up the right friends from those rocks. The most impactful lesson I learned was to sit at Jesus feet and not rely on opinions of someone else, or on projects or anything else other than the words from his mouth to feed me. I was so weighed down by the words, thoughts, and opinions of other people that it was not making God happy. Even well meaning people, and he led me to just unfriend many and at the moment it was a little scary but later I felt the relief and understood even more why it was necessary. I learned about soul ties and how soul ties with anything or anybody outside the Lord’s guidance can truly weigh on the soul. I had an unhealthy relationship with a Christian man who looked good on paper in some ways but who was hurting me with his head games and it was poison for me. I finally let him go. Then I met my soul mate. We are courting and I am so happy to have met the man who God intended for me to be with. Yesterday as I prayed to the Lord about recent mistakes I had made he spoke to me and said, forget the former things. Forget the past mistakes you make. Forget the past ways of thinking and being and believing. Sometimes we are not called to figure out or fix but to let go and embrace God’s newness of life and his great mercy. Amen he has great things in store for me. I also submitted my first book for publishing and I was supposed to have my first copies by now. I expected them in November but I still don’t have them yet. I suppose I wasn’t meant to publish it until this year. I’m working on my second book as well.

Everything Will Fall Into Place

Business and team work concept.
Business and team work concept.

One of my good friends had been saying the same thing over the months, they said, “when our situations settle, everything will fall into place”.  I knew exactly what that meant.  It means that God has a plan and when all the situations work out, then the pieces that we have been trying to find the proper place for will suddenly fall into place.  I have spent so much time trying to force pieces into place, not being content until the puzzle was solved, however being willing to ensure that this occurred even if the final image was bent, torn, and close to the correct size but not right after all.  That is called impatience.  That is called fear.  Fear of not having a completed puzzle, and fear that God will leave me to figure it out on my own.  Even though this is something I couldn’t consciously comprehend, that is what was beneath the surface festering, causing me to put together and try to force together pieces of the puzzle that were not meant to fit.  This friend also once said to me, “don’t force anything!”  That wisdom has never left my mind, and it has since lingered and guided the path that I have been taking since than.  So, what will the final outcome be?  The truth is that none of know what we will end up being, or what God has in store for us.  We couldn’t even fathom or imagine it, the bible tells us this.  All we have to do is trust in God.  We just need to have a relationship with him, talk to him, and seek him in earnest.  Do our best to please him as a wife would do for her husband, a Son for his Father, A daughter for her mother, a husband for his bride, though that is what we are to Jesus.  Jesus never got to have a bride.  I got to thinking one day that maybe Jesus would have loved a bride.  Maybe he would have loved Mary Magdalene or someone else, and maybe that was the need that God intended to satisfy him with and made the church his bride.  Maybe that was Jesus secret prize for faithfulness.  I am not pretending that that is what the bible said, rather it is just a guess because that is the way God is.  He intends on giving us back far more than we could ever expect or give him in return.  We are his bride.  We are his pride and joy, and our completeness is his eternal joy.  That is what is his prize, to see us truly fulfilled.  That is what love is.  So for this reason we can trust that everything is meant to fall into place for us.  It surely will.

jesusandbride