God Has a Plan

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God has a plan.  When we fret about the direction our life is going, it is because we are not resting in God.  Resting means that we trust him.  When we make dumb decisions about our finances and relationships, it is because we are trying to drive the car called life, when all along God is the one who directs our paths.  He has a plan.  Today I have peace as I trust in him.  It doesn’t mean that I know what tomorrow will bring, he says that men have not seen what he has planned, but I do know by faith that those are all good plans and that all things will work for my good.  Thank you God for holding my life in the palm of your hands and for giving me your light.  Please lead me on the path that leads me on paths of righteousness.  I am yours.

The Essence of Salvation

 

 

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What is the essence of salvation?  It is that our heavenly Father rescued us from the death we deserved, because he loves us.  People say, “if God is really that loving then….” then he would do anything for the salvation of our souls, which includes letting us go through hell fire so that it is truly heaven that we learn to love.  A loving God would do what it takes to save us, and that is what he does.

The essence of salvation is that we are loved.  We are truly sought after, seen, known, cared about, wanted, taken seriously by and sacrificed for by the one who gave it all for each and every one of us.  In a world where we grow accustomed to not having our love needs met, we don’t yet comprehend the fullness of his love.  If we only looked for him, and sought him out, we could see just how much, how wide, and deep is his great love.

The essence of salvation is that God is always good, although life sometimes hurts. He will cause all things to work out for the good of those who love him and whom he called.  He truly cares about all of his children, and he is good all the time.  He is patient, and he has trust because he sees the truth within each of us, that we are like him too.  He calls us to love, but first he loved, and taught us to receive his own love.

The essence of salvation is that we finally met the only one who loves our soul, or that is even truly capable.  We met the good shepherd who aspires to give us peace and rest, all we have to do is finally trust him and we will find the truth and joy and be glad.  In him we can let our hair down and finally be who we are, and with him we are safe.  Not only that but he is our provider, and our confidant.  He is and will be forever our friend.  This is the essence of being saved by Jesus.

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Soul Prospering

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Many people associate prospering with having stable finances, or with having loved ones all around them.  Though these things can be called prosperity, they are not the same thing as soul prospering.  A soul may prosper whether the person is rich or poor.  A soul may prosper whether they are loved by many or alone.  Soul prospering has nothing to do with our circumstances, or what we have or not have.  Though every human being would love to have these types of prosperity, it was not lasting.  If your soul prospers based on what is happening around you, then what happens to your soul if circumstances change?  Abraham was promised many descendants, yet before he had died he only had two living sons.  Yet, he still prospered.  Soul prospering comes from the inside out and is based on faith.  It is rooted in what God says about you, and what he promises you.  Your circumstances can look bleak while someone who isn’t Godly seems to have much prosperity, but as I mentioned, circumstances can change.  Even if they never change, one can still have soul prosperity.  When a person’s soul prospers, then they have no fear, and they have much joy and peace.  It is God’s will that we all prosper, even as our soul prospers.  The only way to gain true soul prosperity is to be connected to God, and then the life blood of Jesus flows through our veins giving prosperity to everything.  It assures you that you are accepted, loved, and adored.  It assures you that God cares about every single thing that concerns you and that he is for you and not against you.  It takes all your insecurities away.  It changes us from the inside out, where we are free to be ourselves.  We can now be naked and unashamed.  God wipes all of our tears away.  We are known, we are celebrated, and we know without a shadow of a doubt that that will never change.  We have a future, and we have a hope, even if it is only for eternity where we will never endure sadness again.  Thank you Lord for soul prosperity.  Thank you Jesus for dying so that we can live.

Psalm 16:9 “Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
    my body also will rest secure”

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Let the Guard Down, Trust in Jesus!

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I have noticed something that occurs within me every time I get close to someone for a relationship.  I get scared.  There is this subconscious thing that occurs in which I become hyper vigilant and  I start looking for everything wrong with them.  What happened to the days in which I just enjoyed a relationship?  When I didn’t question their words when they said “I love you”?  I mean, I enjoy those words for a moment, but later my guard is up and is questioning it.  We are certainly supposed to guard our hearts, and this is what the guard is doing, but what happens when that guard won’t let you live and enjoy a relationship?  Do we wait for perfect?  What happens when we discover that no one is perfect?  I have an off and on again relationship in which I just cannot let my guard down in.  Thanks to God’s grace, he has shown me the real issue.  You see, I can see green grass in other people’s yards, yet the minute that grass becomes my yard I get out the magnifying glass and look for dry spots.  When we look for dry spots, our lawn doesn’t seem so satisfying any longer.  The issue is that I have my guard up and it is time to let the guard take a break so that I can enjoy my relationship.  This is also true in our relationship with God.  We can either hear his voice and be satisfied with it, or we can keep searching for the answers in every  flower pot and vessel that comes along.  If we just remember what God said, and remind ourselves of this, then we can rest from searching.  The answer is already with us.  The Israelites questioned God repeatedly after he delivered them from captivity.  After they left Egypt, they just did not understand how to handle freedom.  God said that they tested him and tested him even though he constantly worked to prove himself to them, finally he had enough and promised they would not inherit the land he intended to give them.  He called their hearts hard and unbelieving.  That is really what this all amounts to, belief or unbelief.  Do I believe what God has told me?  Do I accept that no relationship is perfect and stop being so nit picky?  Do I trust God with my life?  Do I believe?  I am so grateful that God is patient with me.  I am so grateful for his mercy.  Without it I would have not hope.  Love is long suffering and all enduring.   We put our guards up because before God, we were at the mercy of a tyrant called Satan.  Now if God has delivered us from evil, and is leading us to our land that will bless us, won’t he take care of every need that we have?  No guard is needed when we have Jesus.  He is able to lead the way out of the desert.  I believe.

Heartache

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I have been dwelling in a place that I now know as heartache. This is not the same as heartbreak because its been sometime now since I’ve had my heart really broken. Actually this isn’t true it has been recent like less than 6 months. I suppose this would explain my state of heartache. Heartache though is not something I’m choosing. As a matter of fact I’ve been trying really hard to step out of this yard of heartache. However I’m learning that even when I leave the yard of it, it is still there. It goes where I go because it comes from the inside. I suppose there is no instant heal spray. I suppose purposing to forgive isn’t a quick fix. I suppose distractions don’t resolve the ache… and it is not just I who aches, it is my children that ache. It is that boyfriend who aches. It is the friend who is always smiling who aches. We all suffer heart break, father how do we rid ourselves of such an infestation? I suppose part of it has to do with forgiving oneself. Maybe we are so busy forgiving others and not forgiving ourselves. I forgive myself for allowing myself to be vulnerable to be broken. I forgive myself for not being smarter to avoid getting my heart broken. I forgive myself for not being strong. I forgive myself for wanting to be loved. I forgive myself for not being perfect. I forgive myself for being someone who has beem rejected. I forgive myself for being me. Valuable life lessons can rise from the ashes of heart ache. One is compassion for others with heart ache. It helps when you know that you are valuable enough to inflict heart ache or even a healing in another persons life. Women (and me ) should not embark on giving their heart in an unhealthy endeavor to fix someone else. You wont fix someone else but you can lose yourself. Or.. is losing yourself the key? Its just impossible to enter into marriage without losing yourself to somebody in a way. You lose yourself by giving that person confidence.. which means you are risking betrayal. But my motto is.. don’t trust anyone.. therefore i don’t trust anyone. But that being said.. being married means you trust someone right? But i cannot trust anyone. I’m not ready.. but.. can a person ever truly be trusted? I suppose this means the test of time.. i don’t know I’m waiting for that one person who can ignite my trust. Is that possible? Only God knows what is best in the end.  I think he’s got this i just have to trust in his guidance on every matter. Especially when it comes to marriage partner.. the bible says that when we honor our parents we are putting a garland of wisdom and promise around our necks. We should listen to them. We should seek wisdom in marriage. We should follow their advice. We should follow.our fathers advice.. he knows best. Father please add learning to our ways. So that we can keep our path straight. Amen

 

Why They Control-Reflection and Vent about Controlling People

So I have come across many people, especially men who want to control me, or change me. Today I realized the reason why this takes place. This is because they are afraid of a trait I have or don’t have that they think needs to be in place to have a successful relationship with me. Isn’t that true in all relationships? When a person tries to control or change you it is because #1 They are full of pride and believe that they know what you need and in essence are trying to play God, #2 They do not think you are acceptable the way you are. As for #1… no one is so smart or so holy or so perfect that they are equal to God and just because you have excelled in an area of triumph in your own personal life does not mean that you truly know what is best for another persons life, and people won’t like or appreciate your attempts to try to control them. #2- ok I get this, this means that you need to keep on walking brother. You like parts of me, but other parts of me not so much. Nope, if you are to be good enough for me, then not accepting all of me the good parts and the parts that are less than perfect, then you are not good enough for me. Yes, there is a place of correction, but this is not done in an attitude of controlling. We can pray and lovingly point out something to each other to help them, this is the way it should be. Help each other yes, but try to control a person and tell them how they should and should not be is something else altogether. You are not God, and I am not here to meet your needs or be in the place of your God in that I am not meant to meet all your needs, only God is. The way to deal with this is to observe a person and the way they are.. and you accept. Not try to change, just accept.. and then you ask yourself “is this person someone who really does it for me?” If the answer is not yes, then that is the way it is. Determine what sort of relationship you need with them and be real about it. Do not say “no I don’t accept so I’m going to help and pray for change” no, that is controlling and not a recipe for a long lasting relationship. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Not that your perfect fish will be perfect, but they should be someone you just love just as much for their weaknesses as you do their strengths. Someone who you “love” not for what they do for you, or how perfect they are, but because of simply who they are, flaws and all. Use that as a guide. It is not fair to the person who you are attempting to change either because that is surely not the love they hope for. Settling and attempting to change a person is the contrary to love, it is selfish.

Marriage and God’s Plan For My Life?

This is a topic that I have given much attention to and that I feel I should post about today. Why not? Don’t most single people want to remarry? A very few do not they say no, not for me, ever again! Then you have the few that don’t want to, however when they are honest they’ll say “sure, if I find the right person”, this is wise. You know I want to remarry, I did it wrong the first couple of times and now when I think about a third time a few things are happening inside of me. One is major anxiety! Lol.. Like when I have male friends I get close to and start considering this topic with, I lose peace which I feel is from God, but also I feel like there are deeper reasons. One yes there’s a thing called a spirit husband who might need to be dealt with, I’ve had a couple people see this when praying for me. However, I think this is because God really wants me to focus on him right now. Today I asked again “Father, you know I want to get married again” and his response? “Focus on ministry” lol. Not only has he been telling me this in my spirit, however people are starting to come out and tell me this in spirit as they are led. Yet, I still have the desire to marry. I know that this is the “seek ye first his kingdom and the rest will be added unto you” business meaning that as I seek to do the ministry he places on my heart, whether it be blogging, groups, fb, writing, getting established in a new church… and wherever he leads me, then my future spouse will find me. When I start focusing on a man in the natural, because there are so so many good, God fearing men, something happens, I lose peace!! Yet, they are serving to be good practice for me. I am finding out slowly what matters to me. One thing I do not want is someone to try to quench or control me. So many people come into my life to support or help me in prayer, yet as they get close to me they want to start criticizing me. I hate this.. not that I’m not open to correction, but it has to be in line with what the spirit says. And if you are not acting in the spirit then you are acting with the adversary, and I have listened to his voice plenty in my life, telling me I’m not good enough. Get behind me Satan I have a God and you friend are not him. So I’m learning that I don’t need a man to build me up, and if a man does not accept and love me as I am, then our relationship may not be ideal. I am who I am, and I am fine. No, not perfect but let that be between God and I, thank you. Yes I myself have much to learn as well. Maybe I need to learn more submission, maybe I need more attitude adjustment. All I know is that right now I need friends, and I need healing. I had not loved myself enough therefore I allowed people or even latched onto people who didn’t love me enough and then later abandoned me and hurt me in some way. Other then my first spouse, I mainly was the one who hurt him. No, no one is perfect, there is a place where I need forgiveness and to forgive, all of which I’ve already made a choice to do and have to daily keep making that choice. But for now, i really just want a friend. Someone who I do not feel I have to impress but who is there regardless. This is the problem with men who have romantic interest in me, they come with the motive to get romantic with me, and their friendship is conditional. No thanks, though if were not God’s desire that I still seek these friendships then he would change that desire, but he doesn’t. The desire to bond with men on a friendship level is strong. That we may mutually edify and pray for one another. This is all a learning process. But one thing is clear, I want God’s will.. that is the only way! Lord give us all strength and grace to do it your way. Amen.

Me and My Big Mouth

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You know how many well many friends believe that I am way too open and that I disclose way too much? Yet here I am sharing my blog for the world to read, and guess what.. I was led to do this. So my question is, why hush me? Really? Does what I say embarrass you for me? Because it does not embarrass me, so why does this embarrass you?? This is a great question I’m asking. You know I’ve been praying about my future marriage because we all know I will get married again, however I’ve already done it wrong twice and have absolutely no interest whatsoever in doing it wrong a third time. I didn’t want the first two to fail. The first time I thought I could will myself through it, and what can I say other than I was young, dumb, and disobeyed God. The second one the man was a real romeo you know, he was extremely fervent in chasing after me (this should have been a red flag), always bringing me flowers, writing me letters, making all sorts of promises and once he obtained me he became abusive, end of story. I stuck that one out as long as I did because I didn’t want to put my kids through yet another divorce. Eventually for their sake and my own I had to. That story had something in common with the first, I was not seeking God. The first man was a Christian but God clearly said no. The second was not even a Christian and actually had some demons of his own for sure. So, anyways back to my point… I am an open person. I’ve had people think that they can manipulate me because I am so open, sooooo what?? Really? Is that my problem? Should I change because other people are fools? No, not going to happen. In my personal opinion, a person who is not open is someone who has something to hide. Sure, there’s a place for wisdom may the Lord teach me if he thinks I need it, but for now I’m going to be myself and if people don’t like how I am, you know how to exit. 

Healing

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This time in my life is really about healing. I realize that my lack of trust is pushing people/men away but do you know what.. maybe that is what my subconscious wants and needs. I cannot take any more pain right now, nor am I ready to really give my heart away. It needs to be healed. Sometimes being alone is really the best medicine though i rarely will seek it, as a matter of fact I kind of resist it.. being alone but deep down inside my heart knows better. I am not ready to let some people go yet… but we are never alone. This really is not just a time of “being alone” but rather it is a time of being alone enough in solitude to hear the one who’s love is true. His love heals me because it is real. It is dependable. Jesus never came to be served.. he came to serve. He came to love, he came to teach and correct, he came to bless.. he came that “we may have life and have it abundantly ” john 10:10.. he came and he died.. not really asking for anything in return. What did Jesus tell us to do really? Only two things had he ever asked us to do..#1. Love God with all your heart #2. Love people more than yourself.. when you learn how to do number 1, number 2 happens more naturally. I am still learning how to do both. We are not perfect, and guess what? We don’t have to be.. he takes us as we are. So being alone with the Savior of the world and our creator who is the essence of love, no wait.. he IS love…there is no better medicine. I am also learning that as i yield to him, do what he asks (i still need work in this area) then he can teach me more.. faster.. because he has things he wants to teach us.. but we cannot learn unless we get quiet.. Lord help me be quiet. Help me heal. Thank you for your healing power. Help me trust you even more. Amen.