Not our way

We either let God have control, or we try to take control. I have many times believed that I let God have control when it was really me in control.

Here is a clue that God is not in control, we feel burdened, oppressed, fretful, unhappy.

" But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law"

Galatians 5:22-23 kjv

The joy of the Lord is supposed to be our strength.

“Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”

Nehemiah 8:10 kjv

I’ve been led to spend time waiting for the Lord to speak every morning. This morning it was hard I felt anxious to rush and do things, but as I felt his mandate to be still, I instead got quiet and waited for him to speak to me.

Waiting

As I laid still and waited, he showed me how all of our rushing is our attempts to be in control, and the fruit of our labor will be whatever we can muster with these two hands. Yet if we waited on the Lord then our reward will be a whole lot sweeter because he has the whole world in his hands.

Our ways are carnal, and are man made, but his ways are infinite and when he touches anything he creates.

He is able to make a crooked path straight.

“I will go before thee, and make the crooked places straight: I will break in pieces the gates of brass, and cut in sunder the bars of iron:”
Isaiah 45:2 kjv

He is able to make gardens grow in the desert place

 “Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert”

Isaiah 43:19 kjv

All we must have to do is believe

Praise God from whom all blessings flow

I had been given a heavy blow the other day and it got me side tracked, slightly. Satan hits us where it can really hurt, and if there is someone who you get support from who helps you, then that relationship makes a perfect target. It hurt, it still hurts, but my troubles have never stopped God’s faithfulness. This is why we need to be surrendered, Satan will try us like he tried Job if God allows him, and God will allow hardships to test us. He will test if our love is true, but even more he shakes us to wake us up. His word promises to shake the earth (us) so that anything that is not of him will be destroyed.

And these words, “yet once more,” signifieth the removing of those things which can be shaken, such as things that are made, that those things which cannot be shaken may remain

Hebrews 12:27

So the final product should make us glad because our trials are like the refiners fire 🔥. If it ain’t the Lord, then it isn’t worth my time or devotion. That is why the Lord allows it.

Yet we praise God despite the hurt. We praise him because what he has is enough. We can count the blessings he has given to us. He has forgiven us. He has revealed himself to us. What I truly value about him is that people come and people go but the Lord always remains faithful,yes I Praise him in the deepest valley. I thank him in the desert. I trust him amidst the storm.

Not my will be done but yours be done father. Why so downcast, oh my soul, why grieve and worry and why be afraid. Someone else might abandon you but I will still provide for you. Hunger for my righteousness and I will make you warm. 1000 reasons to praise and believe in the goodness of God amidst the storm.

Feeling a lot of peace after some deliverance

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

Psalm 43:5

I will yet praise him for sure, I’m in love with you my savior and my God 🙌

Photo by Maksim Goncharenok on Pexels.com

Updates: love, marriage, and saying goodbye

Its been so long since I’ve visited this site that it seems to be a ripe time to check in. I’ve had many changes over this past year. I’ve met and married God’s gift to me. The very week that we went on our honeymoon I found out that my mom had liver failure and metastatic cancer and that she was going to die. Right after I returned from my honeymoon I flew back home to my home state to say goodbye to my mom. I got to spend 3 days with her, and on the third day as I was on my flight back home she passed away. I’m still heart broken. She was only 60 years old. Up until she died I always felt unloved and rejected by her, but now I regret not appreciating the love I did receive from her, even when it wasn’t much. I should have tried to talk to her more. I should have visited More. But I am grateful that I got to see her in her last days, I got to watch movies with her and talk about our faith. I got to hear her thoughts about dying and her wishes. I got to kiss her and say I love you. I wish I had more, but I’m blessed to have the Lord’s peace and assurance that she is in heaven and I still get to experience her from time to time. I appreciate the lasting changes her untimely death made on my heart. I’m happy that I had a change in how I see life and how I have reconnected with my family, it has been so long. It had been a slight challenge to our new marriage but its nothing we can’t handle. God gave me a good one. I’m so glad that God helped me learn how to rely on him because no one can ever take the place of the lord. A spouse is nice, companionship is nice. It is not good for man to be alone, yet when God is present we are never alone. So these experiences have began a new book in my life, one that is now colored by love, strength in God, church, family, the lbs coming home, eternity and grief. There is so much to tell about. It is as if my story has just begun. My mom passed away April 19th, 2021. I was married April 3rd, 2021. My book was finalized and went to the market the day before my mom passed away, or at least that is when I first noticed it was on the market. My mom never got to read it though I was able to give her my original copy, but that doesn’t matter now because she already knows what is in it, and what is to come. Maybe she’ll help me with my next one.

The verse that God gave me concerning my mom’s salvation
My love and I
My book listing Amazon, now available on Kindle

4/17/21

Put away the former things

Last year I had been set free from many fears, and also many toxic people. The Lord had given me a word from psalm 34:19 promising me that he would deliver me from all that troubled me. Then I saw a vision of him coming to me as a consuming fire and when he came upon me it was almost too much to bear, to be so close to his holy anger, but it was due to having a revelation of his love that I could endure. I also knew that his consuming fire would burn away all that caused me pain. I knew that anyone who caused me problems would regret it. This work that he began with me began from within me. God had began giving me revelations of how he saw my deepest thoughts and feelings and that those very things were what he cared about. I began to understand this past year how much God genuinely cares about us. This is where faith comes from. This is what Jesus spoke of when he told us not to be afraid or anxious about anything and then he spoke about the birds in the air and the lillies in the field, how neither of those creations strive for anything yet God still cares for them. This is the understanding that Jesus had when he touched people and they got healed. This was the love for people that he had when he died for them and forgave them. So I also experienced much rejection this past year from even spirit filled friends who even though were anointed and favored, also had their flaws. God showed me that again those who know him also stumble and fail. He removed everyone from my life who was unhealthy for me, whether they were gossiping about me or they were discouraging to me in some shape or form. I had identify with the scripture that said that God can make the rocks praise him, well he can also bring up the right friends from those rocks. The most impactful lesson I learned was to sit at Jesus feet and not rely on opinions of someone else, or on projects or anything else other than the words from his mouth to feed me. I was so weighed down by the words, thoughts, and opinions of other people that it was not making God happy. Even well meaning people, and he led me to just unfriend many and at the moment it was a little scary but later I felt the relief and understood even more why it was necessary. I learned about soul ties and how soul ties with anything or anybody outside the Lord’s guidance can truly weigh on the soul. I had an unhealthy relationship with a Christian man who looked good on paper in some ways but who was hurting me with his head games and it was poison for me. I finally let him go. Then I met my soul mate. We are courting and I am so happy to have met the man who God intended for me to be with. Yesterday as I prayed to the Lord about recent mistakes I had made he spoke to me and said, forget the former things. Forget the past mistakes you make. Forget the past ways of thinking and being and believing. Sometimes we are not called to figure out or fix but to let go and embrace God’s newness of life and his great mercy. Amen he has great things in store for me. I also submitted my first book for publishing and I was supposed to have my first copies by now. I expected them in November but I still don’t have them yet. I suppose I wasn’t meant to publish it until this year. I’m working on my second book as well.

Waiting For Someone To Care

I had waited for someone to care. Yet Jesus was there, and he cared. I believe that most people at least one time in their life look for and wait for others to truly care. Sometimes we are blessed with those who care, but other times it feels as if no one cares. Jesus always cared. Jesus always cares. Jesus is God in the flesh, God’s son, and the word that was with God from the beginning, and was God per the books of John and 1 John. When people care life is good, but what about when they don’t care? Jesus always cares, and he’s always cared. We were not made on accident, as a matter of fact we are considered the most valuable creations in existence. I was not an accident and you were not an accident. Jesus had your name on his heart when he hung on the cross. The bible tells us that it was for the joy that was set before him that he endured the cross and its shame. It was because of the shame you endured, so that someone could literally say that he has been there. You were never alone. You are still not alone. There is always hope as long as today is called today, and it is when we have come to the end of hope in this life that we are in a position to truly gain life. Jesus said blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of God. It was for the lost, the sinner, the sick, the poor, the fatherless, the rejected, the hated, the proud, the caring, the mother, brother, lover it was for us all that Jesus came to this earth, that his Father, our creator sent him to stand in the gap and become sin, to become shame, to become sick, to become rejected, and afflicted and poor, to be bruised so that we will know that someone cared, and has been there. When Jesus cared, he really cared. He didn’t just say it with a smile and vain promises to always be there, no he showed it that when no one knew the meaning of it, he by faith died for you and me. He cared. Look at the Father who created us. Behold the creator of this world and all life. He is loving. He is kind. He willingly gave up his son and at the same time his life because he cared. He is still there, he still cares. You are not alone. Thank you Jesus for Saving the world, that all who would believe on you and call upon you can have their names written in your book of life.

Thank You Father

Gods-open-hand-940x490

Tonight I am remembering to give credit to who credit is due.  We all have human fathers, some are great fathers, some far from, nevertheless, even if we have great fathers, we must remember to whom credit is due.  It is always due to our heavenly father because all good things are a gift from God, and what is seen is only temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

I always want someone to praise and to meet someone who is praise worthy, yet I find so few people who deserve it.  As a matter of fact, when Jesus was approached and praised as “good teacher”, Jesus quickly replied, “good?  why do you call me good?  only one is good and that is God”.  Yet, I keep seeking that perfect person and yet I keep being disappointed over and over again.  So why do I keep searching hearts for that perfect person?

Maybe it is the Lord raising my standards.  As I seek perfection in others, I also am striving for perfection.  Oh no, I am far from perfection as I don’t meet my own standards on a daily basis, but I keep trying, and I like the person I have become.  As I have gotten to know and understand myself I am growing to really like myself, but this also requires the Lord’s help as he has to help me see myself the way he sees me.

The Lord Jesus is the example of perfect love, and as I have grown to experience it and understand it, I have been able to accept and love myself more.  It also has helped me to love others more as well.  I think that this need for perfection is God given, because he wants us to all be perfect like him.

When others fail us and fail to love us like we need or feel we deserve, then it is because they are lacking a little Jesus in their souls.  Maybe they are Christians but they are exposing areas of imperfection resulting from not being perfected by Christ’s perfect love.  I even hear preachers preaching hostile messages about people teaching people that God is all loving.  I understand their message in that they are concerned that this “Loving God” perception will prevent people from truly repenting, yet what is the world coming to when a preacher preaches against teaching about the love of God?  God is love, and it was because he loved us that he redeemed us.  Whether we love him or not is up to us, and that choice will determine our destiny, yet we cannot even seek him unless he draws us near to him, and he wouldn’t draw us near to him if he hadn’t made a choice to love us without condition.

People get hurt in this life, and they really destroy one another, yet no one has been hurt as much as we hurt God.  Every day that we make a selfish, inconsiderate choice it hurts God.  Every time we neglect to consider him it could hurt him, it is really fortunate that he won’t treat us the way that we treat one another, or even how we deserve.  Do not repay evil with evil, but overcome evil with good.  Jesus did it, so why shouldn’t I?

Thank you Father for resetting my life.  Thank you for being down to earth and caring about my every need.  Thank you for not leaving me orphaned.  Thank you for caring about my family.  Thank you for caring about how people treat me.  Thank you for caring about my soul.  Thank you for sending others into my life to say prayers for me.  Thank you for seeing me.  Thank you for setting my feet on your rock.  Thank you for opening my eyes.  Thank you for deliverance.  Thank you for a hope and a future.  Thank you for understanding.  Thank you for all of your gifts.  Thank you for confidence.  Thank you for shining your light in this clay vessel.  Thank you for your jealousy.  Thank you for fear that leads me to you.  Thank you for humbling me.  Thank you for making me weak.  Thank you for creating me with a need for you.  Thank you for everything.  Thank you my glorious heavenly Father.  I love you because you first loved me.

god-images-father-love

 

 

My Yoke Is Easy, My Burden is Light

Matthew 11:28-30 NLT “Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.

 

It is true that Jesus’s yoke is light, and it is easy, but Satan does everything in his power to deceive us to make us think that we don’t want to put on that yoke.  In order to put on that yoke we must push through so much darkness, distractions, lusts, confusions, discouragements, burdens, at least perceived burdens, in order to apply that yoke.  That is what makes that yoke so light, it is that all the stuff we had dealt with before that yoke that was heavy and it just sapped or souls.

So what is this yoke that Jesus talks about that we must apply?  It is surrender.  True, raw, unadulterated, pure surrender to the Father and his Son.  That yoke is truly light once we put it on.  Up until we picked it up we thought it looked impossible to put on.  We saw slavery.  We saw death.  Instead we found out that it was so light and easier than anything else we had handled prior.

He said, “come to me all you who are weary and I will give you rest”, then he told us that putting on his yoke was what was needed to have it.  It is so much lighter than the life we are trying to save all the while still being unsatisfied.  It is so restful because it is the gateway to life.  We then gain insight into how there is only one thing needful, to learn from him.  Only one thing beneficial, to eat on his words.  To live by them, to quote them and celebrate them.  To rejoice in him.  To love and worship him.

We learn that all our problems are but dust in comparison to his glory.  What was so magnified to us before has now reduced to rubble.  The mountains jump up and fall into the sea as Jesus is glorified and magnified.  All our debts are forgiven and paid for.  We are now innocent and white as snow.

We now are known and are truly loved and cared about.  When we commune with he who truly loves our soul, then who can we fear because we are now loved by the King, and no one can defeat him or you now that you are the heir to his throne.  What is this throne that he talks of anyways?  It is peace, it is righteousness, it is joy, it is grace, it is mercy, and perfection.  It is completeness.  It is love, it is wholeness it is being known and being all you never dreamed you were meant to be.

Natural Selection

saupload_rams

Today’s lesson is about natural selection.  Have you ever wondered why so many male animals must fight each other before the breeding begins?  I have.  The experts have concluded that this is “nature’s” process of natural selections, which they explain helps ensure that only the strongest and most viable male will inseminate the females for the best offspring.  At least this is how I recall it being taught.  While I am just as intrigued as the next person about nature, I also understand that this is not “nature” but rather it is God who has a purpose for everything.

Job 12:7-10 King James Version (KJV)

But ask now the beasts, and they shall teach thee; and the fowls of the air, and they shall tell thee: Or speak to the earth, and it shall teach thee: and the fishes of the sea shall declare unto thee. Who knoweth not in all these that the hand of the Lord hath wrought this? In whose hand is the soul of every living thing, and the breath of all mankind”

Job 35:11 King James Version (KJV)

Who teacheth us more than the beasts of the earth, and maketh us wiser than the fowls of heaven?”

God gave us rule of the animals of the earth, but that does not mean that they do not serve his purpose or are valuable as he cares for them and just as we reveal the glory of God, being made in his image, so do the animals of the earth.  There are many passages in scripture which explain to us life lessons related to how animals behave in nature.  One example is given regarding how the ants work hard (Proverbs 6:6), another is telling us to consider the birds of the air, how God cares for them (Matthew 6:26).  Since there is so many lessons about life regarding the ways of animals, then what can we learn about male competitiveness and rams? ??

…. As I considered these things, the Lord helped me understand something about himself as compared to the way of rams according to my understanding.  He showed me that two rams butting heads for the right to mate with the female, is like him and Satan butting heads over who wins the affections of our souls.  When our egos are at war with one another, when the carnal part of us is warring with the conscience, it is like two rams butting heads.  The beauty of this is that God has allowed us to have natural selection.  He doesn’t force us to choose him, but instead he will butt heads with Satan over you.  The stronger one always wins in the end.  Part of the natural process is that the one who we truly love the most will be revealed.  Hallelujah!

 

lions fighting

He’s Got You Covered!

psalm91_4

So many thoughts cross my mind that I would prefer not be there.  I waste so much time focusing on things that I ought not to.  God loves us so much that he has literally stepped into our homes (no matter how messy or unlovely they are), and has come down to reason with us on our level (even though we are as dumb as sheep), and made a home with us who seek him in truth.  This is Love!  So even when my mind strays and I have thoughts I wish I hadn’t, and I focus on cares I shouldn’t, and with every mistake I make- God has me covered!  Psalms 91:1 explains to us that those who dwell in the shelter of the most high, will rest in the shadow of the almighty.  He’s got you covered!  You can rest!  Have peace!  For his love shelters me and makes me complete. I have no want for anything (Psalm 23:1) for the Lord is my Shepherd!  He’s got you covered, hallelujah you are so good to us God.  Thank you for loving me, my Savior and my Lord!  My prince of peace.  I will surely sing of your love forever for your love in unending.

He Makes All Things Work For My Good- Bringing the darkness into the light.

hope-light-in-darkness

I often don’t even know what I’m going to say when I open a new blog.  This is the title that keeps coming to my heart, yet I don’t know what to say.  He makes all things work for my good.  This means that all the little things that we feel ashamed about desiring or maybe it is a personal struggle that really weighs us down, are allowed to be there for God’s purposes.  We don’t have to think that we are alone or fear abandonment by God for having these “light and momentary afflictions” because he is the Alpha and Omega, which means that he is ultimately in control of the happenings of our souls and we are not alone.  Don’t think that what you go through is so unusual, as a matter of fact it is a common occurrence to many believers, yet many are not at liberty to discuss it.  That is also the wonderful thing about shedding light in the darkness, because when the light exposes the darkness, it leaves.  It loses its power.  When we hide issues and truths that we would rather not be brought to the light, then instead of going away, they grow into a big ugly monster.  When the light illuminates what is in the dark, then it becomes small and powerless, and thousands of demons go to flight.  Demons cannot stand the light.  Their powers are in their lies.  As long as we allow them to stay in the shadows then they will pull us down into the their depths of despair.  Despair is not of God and cannot continue when in the light.  Bring the truth to the light.  Amen.

light-through-darkness