I could go into detail about my own personal trials, but I don’t think the details matter, plus they might bore some. I think that we all experience rejection of some kind, when what we seek after or hope for ends in disappointment. It turns out that the things that we think we need or want are not always part of God’s plan. Sometimes when we really want something, Satan will tease us with a counterfeit that at the moment seems like everything we ever dreamed up.. but wait. Then, after we set our heart on it, our hopes are disappointed. I suppose part of the difficulty in waiting is actually waiting. I could have said yes when counterfeits presented itself, or pushed for them, yet I didn’t. For that I am grateful. The times when I would have clung to that counterfeit blessing, God closed the door or intervened somehow. We can be confident that all things in are God’s control. One thing is clear that despite what our personal trial is, as we wait there is something greater in store for us. James 1:4 explains to us that when we experience trials and are forced to wait for better times, then it makes us perfect. Once we are made perfect, then we don’t lack any good thing. God is certainly able to give us what we need right now, he could bring us riches, a perfect partner, a child, fame or popularity, restored health right now. Surely his word even explains to us that it is his plan to make us prosper. Yet, it is God’s plan to make us truly prosper and we are also told that any good thing we have on earth, is only momentary. Even when he finally gives us what he has promised to us, we won’t have what is needed to be truly perfect and have lasting wellness, until a greater work is done within our heart, our understanding, our soul. As I’ve waited to have the perfect relationship, hoping to get rid of the loneliness I feel or adding increased satisfaction to me and my family, something has happened. My needs and desires have changed, and are still evolving. For surely our light and momentary afflictions are truly only light and momentary compared to the greater glory that will result (2 Corinthians 4:17). We have three choices the way I see it, we can either rush the process, taking control and grabbing hold of the counterfeit, which will lead to even greater disappointment. We can be miserable and sulk while we wait, getting angry, rebellious, having a bad attitude, becoming hopeless and frustrated, which does not rush the process it just only adds to our suffering, or we can wait, pray, praise God and focus on what he wants us to focus on. Hebrews chpt. 12 have much to say about enduring hardship and sufferings, in which we are encouraged to think of our trials as God’s discipline, not the kind of discipline that we call punishment, but rather discipline as in training. In Hebrews 12:11 we are told something very important, that “if” we are trained by it, we will reap a harvest of righteousness that will be so satisfying. The key word is “if”. This has told me that my attitude during personal trials will determine “if” I am being trained by them, or if I am just being like a child and having a tantrum. We have a choice. Trials are allowed from God for one purpose, and that is to train us. The old testament is full of evidence that supports that God used trials to win back his children, to bring them to repentance and to train them, changing their hearts, but many of his children grew rebellious. The crew that were delivered from Pharoh in Exodus are an example of children with stinky attitudes that chose to have disbelief, despite the miraculous works that they had witnessed, who lacked trust though they tested God repeatedly, and who God finally decided to not allow them to inherit the blessing that he was leading them to in the first place. I don’t want to become that obstinate, willfully rebellious child who God finally decides not to give me the inheritance he had promised. I want to be trained, I will take my licks and learn my lessons, and afterwards I will be grateful and trust him regardless of what he dishes out to me. You want to give me manna rather than meat, ok God done. Yum. Am I getting irritated again, ok Lord I’m sorry my flesh grows weak sometimes please have mercy on me and please don’t stop guiding and correcting me, but do what you feel is needed so that I will repent. I am yours Lord, I want what you plan to give me, and if it is only the desert place then I will praise you for it because father knows best. I trust God. I believe. He is my portion. Change me Lord, amen.