The pain of gossip

I did not grow up in a christian family, as a matter of fact my family all came from a past of emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, drugs and alcohol, suicide attempts, and a lot of attempts to break cycles while being broken. When I came to Christ I had a lot of brokenness, and although Christ can and will heal broken hearts, this is not a quick fix. I expected that when I went to church I’d be embraced and loved, but instead I’ve been hurt, judged, and mistreated by those who are supposed to be Godly leaders. I’ve gotten close to pastors and Sunday school leaders just to be witness to them shining a light on a newcomers mess, stuff that should be held with the utmost confidentiality and dignity,with the intent of informing others of that families business. Churches want to grow and thrive yet its own leaders are failing the families who need them the most. I am not exempt.

When I married my husband I finally found a good one who comes from a family who loves God, so I expected to be embraced, loved, and accepted. Yet right now I am feeling the pain of gossip. I have been criticized, judged, deemed unworthy, and feeling somewhat rejected by people who are supposed to love God and who I thought would love me like God loves people. This is the pain of gossip. Many of the lifers I will call them, the ones who have gone to church and served as members of their churches their entire lives might not practice lewd behavior, they might not have drug addictions or be engaging in any obvious sinful actions, yet they judge, criticize, and gossip. This is what keeps the hurting away. My pastor has reached out to us since we’ve been away, yet when i think about going back to church I recall the regular lifers who are mean, critical, and are gossips. These are many of our church leaders today. I’m grown up, I understand that no one is perfect, but i’ll tell you what, as coming from a person who has come to Jesus with lots of brokenness that those who are the most prime for Jesus are not the hypocrites. They are real people with ugly faces who wont trust people when their love is not genuine. They might not observe acceptable social graces but Jesus didn’t come to call the righteous, but the sick and when you gossip you are far from being like Jesus. What the world needs is Jesus, not judges. It is very painful for a person who needs real healing to be real around a bunch of gossips.

To have genuine love we must practice what Jesus taught us to practice. We need forgiveness. We need to be quick to forgive. We need to pray for that person who hurts us, judges us, abuses us, not gossip about them or hurt them. We are in a spiritual war and in this war people see others actions with magnifying glasses and their own with rose colored lenses, but Jesus said that instead of trying to remove our brother’s speck we ought to be focused on the dirt in our own lenses, and if we say we have no sin then we have lied and the truth is not in us. Jesus had every justification to have the righteous throw stones at a sinner caught in adultery, but instead he said “he without sin cast the first stone”. He says that when we correct our own behavior then we will display humility in helping another because we wont have the attitude that we know better or are better. Jesus said the last will be first and the first will be last. He said that we all fall short of the glory of God and our righteousness are like filthy rags. Lord I pray that you will help all of your children really know what it means to be like Jesus.

No one can make another person see the error of their own ways. The way I see it is that humility is a blessing to those who are willing to lay down their lives in order to really know Jesus. There is no sense in arguing with anyone or trying to change them. Christian brothers and sisters throw stones at each other in a competition. Another might be throwing stones at you and cursing you, being in rivalry with you but you do not have to play. Put your stone down and walk away. Put your hope in Jesus, he is the only one who will know the truth anyways. If you have Jesus, you have all that you need, and to be Jesus is what we need but first we must suffer like Jesus did to know what it means to forgive like he did.

It is only after we have been hurt like Jesus has that we will understand the pain like he has and when we are forgiven much we then love much because when we know that we are not worthy or better than anybody then we also wont be quick to judge anybody because we are humbled and know that we are or have been in that same place, instead of hurting another we should be praying for them, protecting their dignity, and forgiving them. Being like Jesus starts with forgiveness. If we hold things against someone else we will never get to know what it means to truly be a genuine christian because Christianity is hanging on the cross for our brethren, it is forbearance, it is lifting a brother or sister up instead of trying to step up on a higher pedestal, it is believing the best, hoping the best, and letting our love be the best. Jesus said if anyone wants to be great among you, let him be your servant.

We all have offenses, but no one else can clear us of our offenses except for Jesus. Who are we to judge another man’s servant? But we are all held to the same expectations, to give, to forgive, to love and be like Jesus. Who are we to say to the provider what are the fair wages? Shall we tell him that he owes us more since we have worked longer ? Or should be praise him for being such a good provider that he will give much to someone who he just hired? We will all be rewarded according to our own faithfulness in the right way, in God’s time but we are all expected to be obedient with what assignment he has given until then.

Not our way

We either let God have control, or we try to take control. I have many times believed that I let God have control when it was really me in control.

Here is a clue that God is not in control, we feel burdened, oppressed, fretful, unhappy.

" But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law"

Galatians 5:22-23 kjv

The joy of the Lord is supposed to be our strength.

“Then he said unto them, Go your way, eat the fat, and drink the sweet, and send portions unto them for whom nothing is prepared: for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”

Nehemiah 8:10 kjv

I’ve been led to spend time waiting for the Lord to speak every morning. This morning it was hard I felt anxious to rush and do things, but as I felt his mandate to be still, I instead got quiet and waited for him to speak to me.


As I laid still and waited, he showed me how all of our rushing is our attempts to be in control, and the fruit of our labor will be whatever we can muster with these two hands. Yet if we waited on the Lord then our reward will be a whole lot sweeter because he has the whole world in his hands.

Our ways are carnal, and are man made, but his ways are infinite and when he touches anything he creates.

He is able to make a crooked path straight.

“I will go before thee, and make the crooked places straight: I will break in pieces the gates of brass, and cut in sunder the bars of iron:”
Isaiah 45:2 kjv

He is able to make gardens grow in the desert place

 “Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert”

Isaiah 43:19 kjv

All we must have to do is believe

Really rough weeks

These past couple weeks have been difficult. Beware when you believe you stand lest you fall. I’ve had many angry fits. I’ve had resentment and unforgiving. At the end I question my witness, but it just reminds me that I’m not any better than anyone else.

In the midst of it all, I am surprised condemnation has not shown his ugly face, this is usually when we are weakest of all.

But it is when we are weak that we are made strong.

“Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.”

2 Corinthians 12:10 kjv

I have a portion of that verse tattooed on my back. It has been what God has said to me all my adult life. When I am weak, then I am strong.

Come to think of it, I am always confronted by my weaknesses, my inabilities to completely be right all the time. This is a big reason why I am also always strong. Because then I am reminded that I have not done anything without God’s love giving me grace, insight, faith, answering me when I’m at my worst.

I was visited by an angel tonight I’m sure who told me that there is nothing that I could do that could separate me from his love. Thank you father for your loving kindness, your mercy is new every morning and all day long.

“It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness” lamentations 3:22-23 kjv

I may fall, but the father’s love never will. I am humbled and astounded by the riches of his love. Great is your faithfulness my heavenly father. Now help me be like you. Help me never to forget how deep is your love. You give strength to the weary and comfort those who are broken. Amen

that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being,  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,  and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Ephesians 3:16-19 esv

Praise God from whom all blessings flow

I had been given a heavy blow the other day and it got me side tracked, slightly. Satan hits us where it can really hurt, and if there is someone who you get support from who helps you, then that relationship makes a perfect target. It hurt, it still hurts, but my troubles have never stopped God’s faithfulness. This is why we need to be surrendered, Satan will try us like he tried Job if God allows him, and God will allow hardships to test us. He will test if our love is true, but even more he shakes us to wake us up. His word promises to shake the earth (us) so that anything that is not of him will be destroyed.

And these words, “yet once more,” signifieth the removing of those things which can be shaken, such as things that are made, that those things which cannot be shaken may remain

Hebrews 12:27

So the final product should make us glad because our trials are like the refiners fire 🔥. If it ain’t the Lord, then it isn’t worth my time or devotion. That is why the Lord allows it.

Yet we praise God despite the hurt. We praise him because what he has is enough. We can count the blessings he has given to us. He has forgiven us. He has revealed himself to us. What I truly value about him is that people come and people go but the Lord always remains faithful,yes I Praise him in the deepest valley. I thank him in the desert. I trust him amidst the storm.

Not my will be done but yours be done father. Why so downcast, oh my soul, why grieve and worry and why be afraid. Someone else might abandon you but I will still provide for you. Hunger for my righteousness and I will make you warm. 1000 reasons to praise and believe in the goodness of God amidst the storm.

Feeling a lot of peace after some deliverance

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

Psalm 43:5

I will yet praise him for sure, I’m in love with you my savior and my God 🙌

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His Ways Are Not Our Ways

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts,

Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,

So are My ways higher than your ways,

And My thoughts than your thoughts”

Isaiah 55:8-9 NKJV
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I keep hearing the Lord our God say to me, “my ways are not your ways, my thoughts are not your thoughts”. What meaning comes to your mind when you hear this? I used to automatically feel reminded that it meant that my mind is too little to comprehend what God is thinking, but that is not exactly what he meant when he said this to his people through the prophet Isaiah.

What did he mean?

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Surely there is no doubt that God’s understanding far surpasses our own. Yet, is it God’s will to lord that over us? Does he want us to be ignorant of what he thinks about things?

Not at all, God knows what we lack, and he chose to make us out of the dust and share with us his thoughts. He chose to have a relationship with humanity.

“For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ.”

1 Corinthians 2:16 KJV
"Surely the Sovereign LORD does nothing without revealing his plan to his servants the prophets" Amos 3:7 NIV

God chose to join his spirit with us in our flesh and make his mind and will known to us through our Savior Jesus Christ.

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So if we know that by the scriptures and through the holy spirit given to us that God freely makes his thoughts known to us, then what did he mean when he counseled Israel, reminding them that his ways are higher than theirs, that they are higher than ours?

What he meant by telling us these things is he meant that he is better than we are. He is more merciful than we are. Unlike mankind’s hearts, his thoughts are pure and his love is perfect.

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“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love”

1 John 4:8

When we read the entire chapter of Isaiah 55, we see that he talks about how he makes the rain and snow fall so man can have crops to live by. In another verse we are told that he makes the rain to fall on both the wicked and the righteous. God loves everyone. We don’t believe in his good plans for us because his ways are so much higher (better) than ours. We hate and don’t forgive, so we assume that God hates us and won’t forgive. We are vengeful so we believe God is quick to anger. We don’t give mercy to another so we beg God for mercy.

To know God is to have faith in his ways. To know him is to celebrate. This is why he beckons us to come to him, so those who don’t have food or money will receive without having to pay.

“Come, all you who are thirsty,

    come to the waters;

and you who have no money,

    come, buy and eat!

Come, buy wine and milk

    without money and without cost.

Why spend money on what is not bread,

    and your labor on what does not satisfy?

Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,

    and you will delight in the richest of fare.

Give ear and come to me;

    listen, that you may live.

I will make an everlasting covenant with you,

    my faithful love promised to David.

Isaiah 55:1-3 NIV

He says to me, “in me is everything you need”. What is this bread that he speaks of? The word says that Jesus is the bread of life and the living well, and all who come to him will never thirst again and to take his body and eat.

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The word also says that Jesus is the word made flesh, that he is the living word and as you read the gospels you see that he only speaks what he heard his father God speak. Therefore, the word of life, Jesus is the flesh, is the word of the living God and that is what gives us life and makes our joy complete.

Jesus replied, “If you only knew the gift God has for you and who you are speaking to, you would ask me, and I would give you living water.”

John 4:10 NLT
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He will do it!

Special emphasis on the word “He”. “He” referring to God. Jesus said “I am the vine, you are the branches, you cannot do anything apart from me” (John 15:5). It is empowering and peace giving when we find out that it is “he” who will do that good work in us.

It only takes one bible verse to meditate on to change our ways of reasoning and to transform our lives. One tiny seed of faith. Faith and his word are one. His word, even one word is like a tiny mustard seed of faith that changes all that we are and anything that we face. Jesus said that it only takes a tiny seed of faith to move a mountain.

"And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you" Matthew 17:20 KJV
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Meditating on his word is planting that tiny mustard seed of faith. Only one word spoken by the Lord our God and our Savior Jesus Christ is needed. Today that word for me is Isaiah 51:3

"For the Lord comforts Zion;
he comforts all her waste places
and makes her wilderness like Eden,
her desert like the garden of the Lord;
joy and gladness will be found in her,
thanksgiving and the voice of song"

Apply every sentence of that verse to what is a waste land inside of you. It says that “he”, the Lord will comfort Zion, who is the one chosen by him. It is the one who seeks, the one who believes and longs for the day that our bodies will be reconciled and become one with his spirit inside of us. “Us” is the humanity that cannot perceive or even think about him unless he enables us to see and think about him. Humanity is death and will not inherit eternity, but rather it is by his holy spirit that our bodies will be resurrected to life and redeemed along with our souls. In that day we will be made perfectly holy. In that day we will be complete and our bodies will no longer war with his spirit for our souls. Our souls will be at peace.

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For now it is “he” who will comfort us in our waste places. Our waste places are those places within and without us that is in want. That lacks, that is thirsty like a dry desert place. It is the part of us that still isn’t complete, still doesn’t know. The part of us that still frets or seeks to be satisfied and is hungry. That might be a person who lives in famine. That might be a person who is anxious or depressed. That might be a person with a heavy weight on his or her shoulders. It is a person who keeps praying and has not yet received. What is your desert place? What is the waste land in your life?

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Meditate on Isaiah 51:3 and apply his promise to your desert place. “He” will do it, he will make our waste land like the garden of Eden, which represents every single need inside of us being met by “him”, God. You see Adam was cursed to have to work the land himself, outside of God helping or doing it for him. That is the curse, but God gives the blessing of a garden of Eden in our desert places.

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“He” will do it. He will comfort me. Just focusing on “he”, is enough to water my dry valleys. It is enough to know that it is not I who will accomplish it except as he leads me, but that he will bring water to me. It says, “joy and gladness will be found in her”. Amen, let it be.

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So Much Peace

I’m back to filtering my thoughts through the word of God. Every once in a while I get a little demon try to attach itself to my thoughts, but when I am focused on Jesus, which is the truth they don’t stay around long.

It amazes me that even Christians shirk at the talk of demons. They want to believe that demons are just an occasional side note, that they are haunting a person’s house, or they are all in hell, or they are only hanging around devil worshippers, or they might occasionally possess a poor wretched soul.

But that isn’t what the bible says, and those who won’t see their problems for what they are will be deceived. Atheist, Buddhist, devil worshipper and Saint. The word makes it clear that our war is not with flesh and blood (2 corinthians 10:4-5) but with demons who rule the air aka earth and who work in every disobedient soul ephesians 2:2 Saint and sinner alike. This isn’t about good person vs bad person, but it’s about being one with the word of God. Being one with the word is being one with Jesus and truth.

Truth is that there is only one way to get rid of demons, and that is to slash them with truth by power of the holy spirit. We are to take authority over our beliefs and not just eat on any belief that we hold. If it is contrary to the truth then it is a web of lies called a strong hold. The way to get rid of demonic webs is to look at Jesus and meditate on his word of truth.

Amen lord give us eyes to see the truth. He keeps in perfect peace he who’s mind is stayed on him

Isaiah 26:3King James Version

Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

We are told that our weapons are not carnal (human) but rather they are mighty to the pulling down strongholds which we do by casting down the lies and speaking to our minds and others truth

Some think they cannot overcome evil spirits unless they have a priest come but that is not what the bible says. The bible says that we have to attack them at thought level, that we must filter all our thoughts through the truth of God’s word. If we receive Jesus as our savior then we have all the authority that we need because through Jesus Satan was already overcome. We just remind Satan that we know who is boss. We do this by resisting his lies, speaking the truth and telling him to go. But don’t get in a power struggle with satanic spirits, rather focus on Jesus who is truth.

Philippians 4:8

English Standard Version

" Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things"

With Jesus all things are possible to those who believe, and it is by the truth that we overcome.

We know we are free when we have peace, joy, freedom from fear, worry, anger, malice and more. In Jesus which is the word of life (John 1:14) we have been given every spiritual blessing and we are seated with him in heavenly realms far above every power, spiritual authority and we have the power to overcome (Ephesians 1:20-21, Ephesians 2:6-7).

Don’t Worry

I feel like I’ve written on this topic a lot, yet I will always write on it because it is the truth that needs to penetrate deep within our souls. God is leading me to rest, rest, rest. Yet my old way was to worry, worry, worry. Each time I hear myself asking subconsciously if it is his will that I really rest and not try to figure things out, I immediately think of the scriptures that say, “what can you change by worrying?”

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? Luke 12:25-26 NIV

Being content with the Lord leading you, and being content with not being able to do everything you had planned is a good way to put him in the seat of Lord, even when those plans were all meant to please him. You should know that he is in control of everything in our lives, and that he has his eyes on the sparrow. To not rest is to be proud and to operate apart from him, the one who knows best at all times.

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Matthew 6:25 NIV

This is very humbling to know that God doesn’t need my plans to succeed before he is able to proceed. As a matter of fact, my plans are my striving, like a rough draft in a book, in which the draft represents all that is me, but the final draft results in a lot of the rough draft getting edited and the Lord’s will taking place in the end. In the previous verse Jesus said that the birds don’t sow nor do they stow away.

Fear Says that we have to sow and store away

The bible says that we must sow, and it talks of the wise man being like an ant and I take it from that it means that an ant stores away, yet Jesus mentioned that the sparrows who are cared for won’t do either of those things. So which part applies to us? The part that God speaks to you personally about any given matter at any given time.

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control]. 2 Timothy 1:7 Amplified version

Fear tells us that we must plan for and prepare every little thing. It says that we have to worry and fret and cannot rest until we have every detail accomplished. It says that we must plan our own way. Doubt says that God is a myth and to not worry is to be unwise. Doubt and fear are demons and who we are not supposed to follow, but the wise will walk by faith and not by sight.

For we walk by faith, not by sight 2 Corinthians 5:7 NKJV

Anyone who puts their hope in Jesus and who seeks to obey him and does as he does, following his lead alone will not be put to shame. Thank you Jesus I give you credit for all that you say through me. May you receive all the due glory in your name. Amen

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I Will Define You

I keep hearing in my spirit the words from the Lord, “I will define you”. Recently I had a new face book friend add me calling herself by the title of prophetess, and I’m thinking to myself, “I’m a prophetess” but I don’t announce it to people, I just leave that to the Lord to reveal himself, if he reveals it at all, it doesn’t matter either way. I also know that many people will scoff and attack, fueled by Satanic spirits and I don’t like being pressured to explain myself so I usually won’t, but I see it as an unneeded stressors so this is also why I don’t refer to myself by a title. However, I have not stopped thinking about this young lady and her title. I also recall another face book friend who goes by the title “apostle”. I have also been called an apostle by others and honestly I do operate in all the gifts of the spirit depending on the different needs as the Holy spirit leads, but then I hear many teach that an apostle establishes and is head over churches and the title is reserved for men because only men can by in leadership positions in the church… yada yada yada… here is the thing, I don’t know that man (and I mean humans, people) are equipped to question and define over God. I was just having a conversation with my husband last night about how both men and women are made in God’s image. He tried to argue that woman is made in man’s image, however that is not how the bible defines a woman. Even after having this discussion with him as I was led and understood it, I read more scriptures in Genesis about this. It says in Genesis 5 that God made both man and woman in his image, and he called man and woman man. You see, God first made a man, then he took a part of that man, his rib, and made a woman. It is not that a woman was made in man’s image, rather, it is that God considers both of them one person and called them both man. The woman is part of the mans body, Ephesians 5:28-30 explains exactly this concept. It is saying that a woman is part of man’s body, and a man is to love his wife as he loves his own body, otherwise he is hating himself (my paraphrase).

" In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,  because we are members of his body" Ephesians 5:28-30 ESV

Now the word does say that it is not a woman’s place to rule over man, however I do not agree that God doesn’t call women to leadership positions. I believe the context here is that in general it is not a woman’s nature to rule over a man, however the word also defines woman as man and Jesus Christ is living through a woman just as he is a male believer as Galatians 2:20 is not limited to the male gender but to the female gender as well.

"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me" Galatians 2:20 KJV

You see, when the word says that we are crucified with Christ, it is no longer us but him who lives, I believe this is referring to the living word. This takes into account that we are being spirit led, and not by our understanding as is referred to in Proverbs 3:4-5:

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths" Proverbs 3:5-6

This means that we are to follow his lead and obey him according to our own faith. In order to truly trust that you are being led by the Holy spirit and not by your own evil desires is that first of all you must have a mind attitude of offering your body as a living sacrifice unto God. When we are not willing to completely surrender to his leading, then we become deceived. But this is not the same thing as relying on human understanding. You see, I’d rather be spirit led, and not ruled by man made rules that are confined to human reasoning. “But God never goes against his word” they say. Oh yeah he does, he has, and he will.. not because he contradicts himself, but because it is not the written word that we are to go by but it is the living word that is in charge. There is an example in which God told Peter to go against his written word.

“And he said unto them, Ye know how that it is an unlawful thing for a man that is a Jew to keep company, or come unto one of another nation; but God hath shewed me that I should not call any man common or unclean.” Acts 10:28 KJV

This was after God gave a vision to Peter of many unclean animals that God had told his people in the past were unlawful to eat. This was the written law that the religious Jews adhered to because they wanted to be right by God. Yet God himself told him to pick and eat, and Peter said, “oh no God, I won’t touch anything unclean” and God said to Peter, “do not call unclean what I have called clean”. Now let me tell you I believe some modern day Christians would have told Peter that he was receiving a vision from Satan because God would never go against his written word. But here is what is biblical wisdom concerning the written law.

"Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace." Romans 6:14 NLT

It goes on to say in Romans chapter 7 that just as a woman is freed from the marital obligation of her husband when he dies, so we are freed from the obligation of the written law through the death and baptism of Christ:

"But now we are delivered from the law, that being dead wherein we were held; that we should serve in newness of spirit, and not in the oldness of the letter" Romans 7:6 KJV

I know these things by the spirit of Christ. His holy spirit has given me much revelation about these things. This is why I won’t ever say a woman cannot be in a leadership position, nor will I say she can’t be an anointed apostle, unless God himself teaches me that is the case, and I really don’t believe it is. I believe that God has and does equip women to be anointed leaders through his holy spirit and that no matter how many men and women yell “rebellion!”, “Jezabel!” and so forth, they still shouldn’t try to limit God nor can they stop him. These same men and women are still trying to obey God by limited human understanding and are walking out their salvation in the flesh, rather than by the freedom and power of God’s grace and being led by his living word.

But Jesus says that he did not come to abolish the law you say.. he also went on to say that he did not come to abolish the law but to fulfill the law, which is by his spirit. Which is made clear elsewhere the newness of law is freedom and grace, and obedience by faith.. he says that we are no longer ruled by the written word, but rather the sons of God are to be led by his spirit, which gives meaning to the written word. The written word itself is rigid and does not have a mind of its own, but the living word Jesus is spirit and he fulfills the meaning and gives life to the written word by his spirit.

"But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned" 1 Corinthians 2:14 KJV
"Therefore by the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be justified in his sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin.
 But now the righteousness of God without the law is manifested, being witnessed by the law and the prophets;
 Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference:" Romans 3:20-22 KJV

I personally choose not to let man or their own rules define me, no matter how righteous and pious and holy it appears, because that is still flesh being in charge when it is limited to human reasoning. I would rather be led by the spirit. So who am I? How does Jesus define me? I am his daughter. I am both woman and man, taken from the rib of my husband who calls me a prophetess. Some call me an apostle simply because of my spiritual gifts, and I may be. I am also a teacher, a discerner of spirits and hearts of men and women, but none of that is from me, I cannot take the credit. I have spiritual gifts of revelation, knowledge, insight into all mysteries with great faith as the holy spirit leads. That is Jesus, he is living through me and Jenifer as she was aside from the spirit is sometimes sinful, but always dead. I think of myself as a prophetess though, because prophets are God’s chosen. He tells me his secrets. He reveals his will and his heart to me. God has chosen me to be his prophetess, so I will identify myself with prophetess. He said to me “old things are passed away, all things become new”. This is a new season of greener pastures. It is a season of abundance of his grace. Maybe I’ll call myself disciple, because that is what I am. Lord, who do you say I am? I’m still pondering this.

Prophetess Jenifer Gutowski-Vargas